#sorry for venting my gf also broke up with me tow days before the funeral😋👍
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Ruined one of my favourite songs by listening to “All I need” whilst they lifted the cakets’s top off so we could view my uncle one last time (he passed a month ago, so they didnt prepare an open casket funeral ) and he unfortunately has already started decomposing. I can’t get the image of it out of my head despite being able to handle gratious gore all my life. It’s like a haunting image in my head. Bonus point that the end part of “All I need” was playing when they took the lid off so now anytime I hear it on TikTok the sight haunts me.
#to be clear I only listened to music because I cannot regulate mt emotions correctly due to bpd and didnt wanna make the funeral abt me#collapsing from crying#so I had my earbud in one ear only so I could still hear#I’m starting to look more up to Luigi Mangione#I lost my uncle due to medical neglect#he was a type 1 diabetic and he had been preciously almost killed in the a hospital a month prior to his death#he was also my only family member who also suffered with bpd#and I felt like he was the only one who could get me#he suffered all his life and had a terrible death#grief is just such a funny thing#but also his death made me never ever want to commit suicide#bc of bpd I always deal with suicidal ideation but seeing myy grandma sobbing so hard she is almost falling over hugging the picture of my#uncle so tightly#I could never let my mother go through this#I hate death and the hubgarian healthcare system#and how much money it costs to be able to fucking live with diabetes#sorry for venting my gf also broke up with me tow days before the funeral😋👍#cw:gore
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